Take Two

     The first visitation just about killed me emotionally.  I had hoped to be stronger the second time around.  Madame X and I had worked out an increasing time visitation to help the boys get reacquainted with me.  The last visitation was supposed to be an hour, but the twins were doing so well at the park they actually stayed an hour and a half.  I did find it funny that the parents of Madame X called her cell phone to say that visitation time was up.  I was actually glad that she told them the boys were doing well so they were going to stay. 
     The visitations take place every Saturday and Sunday at a park.  Each week they increase an hour.  We have usually taken our cues from the boys though, leaving early if they aren't having fun.  Staying later if they are enjoying themselves.  When the boys pulled up in their stroller I got Beck out of his side.  He immediately started to cry.  So Madame X took him away from me to swing.  He clearly wasn't ready for me to be in his personal space.  Killian started laughing when he saw me.  He was ready to play.  I followed Killian around the park while Madame X tried to convince Beck he wanted to play with us.  Today's visit would only last an hour.  Beck really saw me as a stranger while Killian called me Daddy and wanted to play.  I continued to be amazed at Killian's coordination, strength, and daring.  He would climb up to the top of the big slide and go down even though he would be going so fast that I had to stand eighty feet back from the slide to try and catch him.  When Killian goes down the slide it reminds me of the sled scene in Christmas Vacation.  The closer Killian gets to crashing, the harder he laughs.  I have no idea where he gets that from.  I have always been so quiet and reserved.  Never daring.  Spend most of my time reading.  Killian didn't say much on the second visit.  Beck didn't want to leave his mothers side so I didn't get to play with him much.  I bring a bag full of toys hoping the boys will associate me with fun.  Beck likes to throw balls.  He will play catch with you whether you know you are playing or not.  Beck also likes to throw as hard as he can, no matter the distance between the two of you.  He also likes to aim at your face.  So be ready. 

Killian with his popcorn (don't know where he gets that from either)

Killian always so happy

     At the end of the hour Beck still didn't want to be around me so I had Madame X take them home.  Beck was so excited to leave he jumped into the stroller all on his own.  I didn't want Beck to see me as a scary person.  He can see me as a scary person later in life when I have to pick him up from the police station for criminal mischief.