Needless to say...

After the day Beck had previously, he would not come out of the house to come play.  He stood behind Madame X and then ran away when I approached the house.  Killian, however, was super enthusiastic about going.  I love both boys.  I must admit, however, that when you only have one it sure is fun to just focus on that one boy you have with you.  I can give him love and affection without worry of the other one feeling neglected.  Killian kept asking "what is dat?"  I would say it's another cow.  And he would say, "oh, I how!" and then he would wave out the window.  Such a happy boy.  We went to Becky's house to play with her dogs.  Killian wanted to throw the ball for them.  The dogs were less than enthusiastic about the ball and more enthusiastic about a new little boy in their midst.  So Killian grew bored quickly of that game and went downstairs in search of new toys.  While down there, he discovered a bunk bed.  He was so excited about that.  He kept climbing up and down the ladder.

Practicing to be Amish like his brother

Rough day for Beck

Over the Christmas break I was supposed to get the boys extra.  That didn't work out so well.  On December the twenty-third I had a full afternoon planned for the boys.  Go to grandpa's for presents, McDonalds, followed by the Dinosaur museum.  We arrived at grandpa's house, Killian raced up to the front door to tell grandpa "we came to see you" and then Killian saw Grandma Marla and told her "I don't want to talk to you."  (If only I could tell people at work that and have them find it funny like Grandpa and Grandma did).  Beck, however, wouldn't get out of the truck.  I had to coax him in with the idea of presents for him.  Once inside, Beck would not leave my lap.  I asked both boys if they wanted to give Grandpa his present.  Killian was the only one that took me up on the offer.  He was very excited to give Grandpa his present.  Then I asked him he wanted to give Grandma Marla her present.  He answered a very excited yes.  Then he took two steps towards Grandma Marla and threw her present on the ground in the general vicinity of Grandma Marla, close enough in his eyes I guess.  The second Beck opened his present he started saying, I just wanna go.  I just wanna go.  I had hoped that presents at Grandpa's would go better for Beck, as it has been very hard to integrate Beck into the extended family.  With all the extended family that is constantly around him from Madame X's side, I thought this would go easier. 
Once we were back outside, Beck ran to the truck and was happy again.  He wanted to go to McDonald's and slide on the blue slide.  Apparently, so did ten billion people other kids.  I have never seen that many people at a fast foot place ever.  Within the first three minutes of being there, Beck was knocked down by a girl that was around twelve (too big to be playing in the kid area).  I comforted Beck for a bit, and he summoned the courage to go back into the midst of the battle for Middle Earth.  Only to get knocked down by another Orc (girl) also too big to be playing in the play area.  He came over to me and kept saying, I just wanna go.  I just wanna go.  We didn't even have our food yet.  We had ordered and paid sadly, so we were forced to wait.  He just sat on the bench with me.  Once our food came, we bailed on that place! 
Arrival at the dinosaur museum made the boys happy.  We walked through "space" over and over.  Then went to play in the water, where Beck promptly ran into a bully of a boy, whose mother was too busy playing on her phone.  I kept trying to intervene short of slapping the kid.  Beck gave up on wanting to play there.  We went and found a quiet place with no children and played there for awhile.  After a short time, Killian also came over crying, he was digging next to another bully of a boy who decided to throw sand in Killian's eyes so Killian would leave.  At this point, both boys wanted to "just go play at Daddy's house".  Beck wanted to get in through Daddy's side and then jump to the back.  Wouldn't you know it, he got his leg caught as he jumped and then crashed into the back seat.  That started him crying and saying he just wanted to go home.  So home we went.  I had such big expectations for the day.  During the few hours I get to have the boys I want everything to be so fun and perfect for them.  It crushes me as a father when days like this happen.   

I want it. I want it. I want it.

When I take the boys out, I find myself at times loathing humanity.  People that don't watch their children and let them run wild or bully other children.  Today's visit to McDonald's was a new one for me though.  This lady (featured behind me) decided to sit right behind us in a play land virtually empty.  Why she had to choose the table right next to us I will never know.  Her little boy saw Beck and Killian's small dinosaurs that they had just been given.  He kept saying, "I want it.  I want a dinosaur.  I want the dinosaur."  The kid said this over and over and over and over and over.  I kept thinking the lady would take her kid and leave.  Get him to be quiet.  Get him to stop following my boys.  Get him to stop standing RIGHT NEXT to our food and saying it over and over.  But NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  She just kept saying sorry to us.  It got so bad that both boys sat next to me in the bench.  They wouldn't leave the booth to go play.  They both hid their dinosaurs in their jackets and wouldn't uncover it.  So stupid.  Sadly stuff like this happens at McDonald's.  We also had one lady that wouldn't take her kids to eat.  They were hungry.  She just wanted them to play in the play land while she sent texts on her phone.  While I was playing with the boys, one of her children helped himself to Beck's drink and some of our food.  It was all super okay though, cause the lady just said sorry and told her kid to put Beck's drink down.

Some forgotten pics

I'm hiding, you can't see me

The work out of the indigenous twin dad

feel the burn!

arms d..y..innnngg

Beck so loves his dinousaurs

Watching a dinousaur movie

It's getting serious.  Both feet have left the floor.

He will close his eyes when he sees a camera.  Didn't know he was being raised Amish did you?

Ratatouille is riveting!

Someone let him climb the rail and touch the shark teeth.  Wasn't me.

Daddy, I go wish you today?

For those that don't know, I usually get the boys half a day on Saturdays and on Mondays.  If, for some reason something comes up on those two days, we don't usually reschedule to a different day.  I'm just out of luck for that day.  On Thursday I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.  The boys had been sick and I had to work on Monday so I didn't get them.  That usually is a hard week for me when I have to go seven days without seeing them.  I received an interesting phone call though, Thursday, at nine in the morning that went like this...
Me: Hello
Quiet voice: Daaaaady
Me: Hey buddy
Quiet voice: I come wish you today?
Me: You want to come to my house?
Quiet voice: Yeah.  I play wish you today.
Me: Okay, I'll come get you, go get your shoes and coat on, okay?  Hello?  Hello?

Beck had hung up the phone and went to get his coat on.  Yes, you read that correctly, the quiet voice was none other than Beck. My son who has been so hit and miss on visitation called me in the middle of the week (while he was really sick I might add) and wanted to come to my house.  I drove about nine million miles an hour trying to see through the tears in my eyes.  My heart was so full.  So many days I feel like a failure as a father in my attempts to bond with my sons on a part time basis.  I could not stop crying as I raced to their house.  I was elated.  When I pulled up to their house the boys came running down the walk.  As soon as Beck saw me he said, "I wanna go to McDonalds, but not to the scary one."  I loaded them into the truck so thankful that Beck had called.  Driving with them always presents interesting conversations...

As soon as I get in the truck...
Beck: Daddy?
Me:  Yes buddy
Beck:  I tol' Mommy you come get me.  I call Daddy, he come get me.
Me:  You did?
Beck: I call, then I wait for you.
He was very matter of fact when he said it.  I was so glad that I could go when he called.

Beck:  This is the way to the park
Me:  Where is the park that is this way?
Killian:  (Pointing behind us) That way!
Beck:  Noooo, that is the way to my house

As we drive past the Springville McDonald's
Beck points and says," Dat one is a dangerous McDonald's."
Me: Why is that one dangerous?  (Marveling that he could even use the word dangerous properly)
Beck: Cause it is not safe.

Driving a bit further down the road...
Beck:  Look at all the trees!  I can't even see in the trees there's so many.
Killian:  I see a duck
Beck: I don't see a duck, so many trees
Killian:  Wed light daddy!  Stop! Stop! Stop!
Beck:  Look at those biggie ducks! (Geese)
Killian:  I hear a tain (train)
Beck: I don't see a train
Killian: I HEAR a tain
Beck: I don't see a train

After we played for awhile I told them I needed to go back to work so we needed to go.  I got Beck buckled in and Killian wanted to climb in my door.  While Killian was climbing in my side (or so I thought) I got the apple slices and boys drinks loaded in.  Only to hear Beck start screaming.  I ran around the other side of the truck to see that Killian and reclined my seat all the way down onto Beck and Beck couldn't retreat due to me harnessing him into his car seat.  Ooops.  Daddy lesson learned.
     I told Killian to get in the truck, we needed to go home so I could change their diapers. 
Beck: You no change mine
Me: Yep, I need to change both your diapers
Beck: No, Killian pooped, I peed.

I was so greatful for my boys this day.  So grateful I had not given up on the numerous days I felt like I wasn't making any progress.  I felt today that I loved my boys, and they in turn, loved me back.

Two little monsters waiting for their balloons to be blown up

Not sure why they sat in line to watch a movie

No Idea

     Madame T-Rex and I had been emailing back and forth during the week trying to figure out the reasons for Beck's sudden refusal to come back.  She had suggested maybe going to McDonald's as Beck really likes the play land.  I thought long and hard about that one.  Would I be able to go to McDonald's and resist Coke.  The bane of my existence!  Would I have to call my 12 step sponsor before I went.  My hands got the Coke shakes.  I would do it...for my son!  I told T-Rex that I would take them and to let the boys know. 
     I pulled up front of the boys house and Beck was leading the charge towards my truck.  I was about to be over run by twins wearing monster hats!  I yelled up to T-Rex that apparently McDonald's was were I was going to have to go from now on.  She informed me that she had not told Beck we were going.  Beck just decided he wanted to come.  Killian told me, "Daddy, I need two steps!"  That is my cue to squat down and with one knee higher than the other so he can use my thigh's as steps.  He also said," I need steps cause I lid-O tiny Daddy."  Beck's response was, "Daddy, I don't need steps cause I really big!"  Beck proceeded to use the best bouldering technique's and somehow managed to use the floor mat and car seat for hand holds to haul himself up.  He was right.  He did not need steps.  The boys then proceeded to step/jump on everything in the truck with their snowy/muddy boot.  The fact that the boys are still alive is a testament to how much I love them.  My inner OCD could only focus on all the mud and small rocks on my leather interior.  I love my boys...I love my boys...I love my boys. 
     Because Killian had heard me say McDonald's as he was coming to the truck I got this... I wanna go McDonald's Iwanna go McDonald'sI wanna go McDonald's Iwanna go McDonald's Iwanna go McDonald's until I answered him.  I gave him a few times finding it funny and thinking he would stop.  It lost its humor so I answered. 
     We played at McDonald's for two hours.  The boys were very well behaved.  I was a bit scared of going there by myself with two and only coming back with one.  That is only fifty percent.  In scouts our goal was always seventy-five percent.  When we got back in the truck my conversation went like this with Beck...
Beck: I like you Daddy
Me:  I love you buddy
Beck: I like playing with you Daddy
Me:  Then why didn't you want to come play with me on Saturday?
Beck:  You have a biggie truck!
Me:  Why didn't you want to come play with me on Saturday?
Killian:  Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!

Stupid cement truck.  It was really cool, but I had hoped to have a different conversation right then.  As we were driving away Beck said, "It is such a beautiful day.  The sun.  The snow.  It is a beautiful day."  Killian answered with "Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!Cement tuck!"

I had to get away from construction vehicles.  We went to my house to play.  The boys have been talking about Christmas lights so I went and purchased a tree.  Those that know me really well, will know this is a big deal!  Even bigger than allowing mud on my leather seats.  Or throwing all of Daddy's alphabetized CD's on the ground.  I don't like Christmas.  I don't like all the work that goes into it, only to have to do more work to take it down a month later.  I was very excited to see what, if anything, the boys would say.  Killian ran over to the tree and said,"  Daddy! Daddy! The kissmas tee (Killian sounds like he is three, Beck sounds like he is six) is so bootiful.  There is red, geen, and blue.  And a train around the tee.  Yay.  Yay.  Yay."  For that response I would become Clark Griswald every year!  I got a bit teary eyed. 

Here's to hoping Beck comes back on Saturday!

Killian kept saying "Who 'dis guy?"

Beck gave me his socks.  So he could get traction on the slide he said

The proper way to take your socks off.  Everyone take note.

Everything in the play land is considered a toy.

Oh Man!

We had such a fun time at the museum.  Beck had asked if I would pick him up in the morning.  Then, for some reason known only to a two year old, he didn't want to come back.  No idea what happened there.  So I only had Killian, who was very sick.  Killian wanted to go to "the sandbox".  That is the Mapleton city park sand volleyball court.  We were both digging in silence, I was just enjoying watching him fill his dump truck full of dirt when he said to me, "Daddy, you need to talk to me."  Apparently he was tired of being watched and it my turn to participate in the relationship.  He didn't want to stay very long or say very much.  Killian wanted to go home, watch a movie and lay on the couch.  My kind of hanging out!

He was so tired and sick.  But he wanted to be at Daddy's house.