Me, Myself, and Twins: Where oh where has my little Beck gone?

     To update all two of you out there that read this. Two weeks ago Beck and Killian were playing at the church behind the house. They love to stand on the irrigation grate and look at the water. I have not worried in past about them playing there because their shoes usually keep them out of the holes. Well, the flimsy sandals that Madame X sent them in let Beck's foot, with his leg following, to slide right through the hole of jagged steel. It took me a few seconds to free his leg. It cut up the back of his leg and he was crying, "I wanna go home. I wanna go home". I raced home to clean up his leg. Once we cleaned up his leg, he kept crying but said he wanted to go play outside. "I okay, I okay", he whimpered to me. I didn't have a band aid big enough for the long cut up the back of his leg. We went outside and grandma tried to put a bigger band aid on his leg.  Beck then lost it again saying (the band aid) "it too big, it too big. I wanna go home. I wanna go home." So I text Madame X what had taken place and that Beck really wanted to come home and I just couldn't console him. She sent me a text back, and I quote "Try a band aid, I won't be home for forty five minutes". I tried to console that sad little boy and it just wasn't working. So I packed the boys in the truck, told them we were going home, and left to drive to McDonald's hoping maybe french fries would be a distraction. I also sent Madame X another text saying the cut was too big for a band aid and that Beck was still crying. She then changed her arrival time to fifteen minutes. The french fries and Sprite helped stop the crying. When I took him home he wanted to go back to "A-Donalds". That event shattered my feelings of being a good father. The rest of the day I felt like I had let that little boy down, by not catching him fast enough. Needless to say, it has now been two weeks since Beck has been to my house.
     The first pick up date after "the event" Beck wouldn't let me come near him. He walked around the bushes and then around his mother to always make sure there was something between the two of us. Saying "I no wanna go, I no wanna go." The second time I showed up, Killian ran down the steps to me. I picked him up thinking that maybe if I had Killian with me that Beck would talk to me. I tried to tell Beck we could go to the park, but Beck just stared at the ground. It was breaking my heart. I said to Beck, "Do you want to come to Daddy's house and play with the trains?" Beck said, "No". Killian on the other hand, started saying right in my ear, "I wanna go Daddy's house, I wanna go Daddy's house, (repeat four thousand more times)" until I told him he could come. Even though I was carrying Killian, he wanted to make sure that I knew he wanted to come. This last time I hoped to bribe Beck with balloons and a remote control train. I got a bye Daddy out of it, but the other car seat was vacant yet again.
     I obviously would love to have both boys with me, but at least Killian is excited each time to come over. On Monday I suggested we go to park...
Me: Killian, do you want to go to the park?
Killian: No. Play Daddy's house.
Me: We can come back and play at Daddy's house after the park if you want to.
Killian (while jumping up):Okay!
I loved the fact that he wanted to play at my house so much that if given a choice between park or Dad's house, he would pick Daddy's house. It has been fun to be able to focus all of my attention on one little boy. I love hanging out with him and playing with the trains. Killian thinks the coal in the coal cars is "copcorn" (Popcorn). We fought with foam jousting sticks. I pushed him around the house in a laundry basket. He chased me around the house with a spray bottle. And my two favorite activities, he sat on my lap to read. He also sat on my lap while we watched Toy Story.
     When we read the dinosaur books he always asks about each dinosaur, "Him O eat me?" And I say, "no, they eat leaves, not little boys." Then he smiles and we turn the page, only to repeat the process. Then when we are done reading, he throws the book. I haven't quite taught him how to place the book back on the table. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to get that adorable other little boy of mine back to my house. I will buy one of everything from Toy R Us if necessary. I just hope he comes back to my house by the time I get through the bubbles section, before the electronic section of the store.